Broken
by Verity58
Summary: Terra has spent her entire life feeling alone, betrayed, and broken. She wants nothing more than to deal out some degree of justice to the world that turned its back on her, but when Beast Boy asks her out on a date, she is surprised to find that she can't get his offer out of her mind. Why does she suddenly feel so conflicted about someone she supposedly hates?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans, and credit goes to the original creators/owners.**

**Slightly AU. I've redone some of the dialogue, and this version of Terra was never a princess. Hope you like it, and please tell me what you think!**

**.*.*.*.*.**

For the fifth time that night, Terra got up to pace across the moonlit room. Her heart was ringing in her ears as Beast Boy's words played through her mind, over and over again: _you could say yes. Because I'm about to ask you out on a date._

Of all the nights for him to ask. Of all the stupid nights…

Slowly, Terra forced herself to come to a stop, though her limbs trembled as he did so. Why did she feel this way? Beast Boy was no different from the others—a liar and a traitor, not a friend. Her mission was to deal out justice to him, to make him suffer as she had suffered. For fifteen long years, she had coped with misunderstanding, abuse, and treachery from a thousand different sources. Then, finally, when she had thought that she had found someone who wouldn't abandon her, despite her secret…

He had betrayed her trust. It was as simple as that. He had betrayed her trust, and worse, when she'd showed back up at Titans Tower, he had acted like nothing had changed! No remorse, no apology, not even a hint that he so much as _remembered_ what he had done. Her faith in him had been like a goblet—a beautifully crafted, fragile crystal goblet—and not only had he knocked it down, but he had forcibly shoved it off of the table and stomped on its delicate remains. Their friendship had spilled across the floor, red as wine and dark as blood.

He hadn't even seemed to care.

…And yet…

…And yet, the silver, hand-crafted heart on her dresser winked up at her in the moonlight. How long had he spent on making that? Hours? Days? Why spend so long making it if he didn't actually care?

Terra closed her eyes and sank onto the edge of her bed. A deep, hollow emptiness rose up inside her, temporarily replacing her burst of hopeless energy. She was tired. She was tired of being lied to. She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of feeling angry, and lost, and hurt, and tired of pretending every minute of every day like everything was fine when deep down, she knew it wasn't. Most of all, she was tired of feeling broken. And she was tired of being alone.

_I can't go with him_, she thought numbly. _I don't _want_ to. And even if I did, the plan starts tonight. Tomorrow, it'll be too late. It's always been too late._

Staring into the distance as her heart rate returned to normal, Terra felt her exhausted mind begin to wander. Slowly, she turned around to stare at her open bedroom window, a delicate night breeze washing gently over her face. _Besides, _she thought numbly, _before Dad died,_ _I promised him that I wouldn't go out on a date until I was sixteen._

Terra blinked at the sudden surge of distant emotion. What could possibly make her think of the childish restriction at a time like this? That promise was irrelevant, now. It had been what—ten years since it had happened? It was pointless. Only a few months after he'd jokingly made his little girl swear to a short list of dating restrictions, her father had been killed in an earthquake—one that hadn't been her fault, but that she'd been blamed for nonetheless. The day he'd died had marked the end of any chance she'd had for a normal life, and by now, keeping any promise that she'd made to him was no more than a wishful fantasy for something else. According to Slade, her father's death and the subsequent nightmare of events was just one more reason why she didn't owe anyone anything. Her father's death was just one more reason why she should hate them all.

Heat flooded through Terra's limbs as the thought caused her pulse to skyrocket. She _did_ hate them all! She hated every last human being—every pathetic, heartless person who had pushed her aside and treated her like dirt.

Restlessly, she stood up, and again began to pace. She hated them. She hated _him_! She hated Beast Boy, with his stupid smiling face and his stupid, lying, hopeful eyes. She _hated _him! Over and over, she repeated the phrase, an evil wildness in her eyes. _I hate him. I hate the Titans. I hate Beast Boy. I hate all of them._ Because that was how it had to be.

Terra didn't notice, but in the darkness, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Her internal tirade was cut short when a rustling, fluttering noise caught her attention. Looking over, she saw that the calendar on her wall had fallen to the floor, the glossy numbered pages winking up at her in the half-light. After a long moment's pause, she crossed the room and picked it up. It wasn't ripped; apparently, the too-small nail had just slipped out of its place on the bedroom wall. Terra sighed as the burning energy from the moment before drained out of her limbs. Dazedly, she put the thing back in its place. For a moment, she struggled to remember what month it was. July? No, August. It had been August first on the day they'd battled Doctor Light.

Terra paused. If it had been August first five days ago… Then today was August sixth. Her birthday.

Stunned, Terra glanced at the clock. She had been born at exactly nine a.m., and it was nearly seven now. She had been sixteen for almost ten whole hours without even knowing.

**.*.*.*.*.**

"Stupid, stupid, _stupid_!" Beast Boy shouted to himself. "Why on earth do I have to be such a total _geek_?"

Walking across his bedroom floor in a wide circle, he pounded one fist against his forehead. His cheeks had flushed a violent shade of green. "All I had to do was ask her out. Just one simple question—'Will you go out with me?' But no, I had to hand her a stupid glue-covered box and stand there grinning like an idiot, getting in her way when she _obviously_ just wanted me to leave her alone!" He closed his eyes, groaning as if in an agony of pain. "In all my life, I have never met anyone who is such a total _goober_!" With one final cry, he sank to his knees.

"Do you do this _every _time a girl won't go out with you?" Terra said from just outside his window.

Beast Boy nearly jumped out of his skin.

Despite herself, Terra smiled, watching in amusement as Beast Boy hurriedly picked himself up and tried to splutter out an explanation. She waited patiently for a couple of seconds without interrupting, but after his third failed attempt to actually complete a sentence, she took pity on him and spoke. "Want to go out tonight?"

Beast Boy gaped for a moment before realization dawned on his face. Terra's smile broadened. It was like watching an enormous fireworks display—one where the people in charge of the fireworks had accidentally set off everything they had all at once. "Of _course_!" he said. "Are you kidding? I—…" he broke off, realizing too late how eager he'd sounded. "Uh… I mean… Yeah. Yeah, that's cool."

"Come on," Terra said, offering him her hand through the window. "I've got a couple places in mind that I think you're going to like."

**.*.*.*.*.**

One hour later, Terra was perched next to Beast Boy on the bench of the nearby fairgrounds, listing off the attractions from memory and trying to decide what the two of them should do next. Beast Boy was one big ball of joyful energy, and despite the sick, wrenching feeling in Terra's gut that refused to leave her alone, she found that it was impossible not to have a good time.

_Even broken crystal can be beautiful_, she reflected, staring up into the moonlight. _And wine is still wine, even after it's been spilled. _

Was it really too late? Had their friendship been broken beyond repair? Terra felt… _happy,_ now. Content. …But if what Slade had said was right, then it would all fall apart, and soon. Were they really still friends, at all?

Terra didn't know. And for that one moment, Terra didn't care. When Beast Boy took too long deciding on a ride, she grabbed his hand and hauled him over to one of her favorite roller coasters, laughing at his expression and the comments he made along the way. For the next few minutes, she forgot about everything—her past, her pain, her secret, and even the lies and betrayals that still threatened to tear her apart. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was aware that she would have to tread carefully after tonight, stepping around the broken shards of her faith and shattered friendship. But for the moment, she was able to lose herself almost entirely in a blur of laughter and movement and words. She felt free again, and unbroken.

...And for the first time in years, Terra didn't feel alone.


End file.
